sleepy

yes, today i am sleepy. which is funny because i slept all day while Lily was at her great grandparents. probably why i am sleepy. i also went to bed late last night, which i will be doing again tonight since i slept so late. Lily was up late today because she fell asleep on the car ride to Ron and Bryanne's and after only sleeping for 1.5 hours, she was wide awake until about 10. i'm hoping she'll sleep good tomorrow, but 6:30am is her programmed wake up time. hope a nap will follow shortly.

gas gas gas

and i dont mean farts!
its annoying how high gas prices are. stupidly annoying. and how come they get away with making them higher just as the weekend starts (and ESPECIALLY before the long weekend.) totally retarded if you as me.
luckily at the moment i dont drive much, however, i do have to keep my car insured and with gas because Lily cant ride in Ryan's truck so if we have to go somewhere, we need my car. sucks though.

and also, the weather is shitty too. wet and cold. cant go outside. and i liked going outside and sitting in the sun with lily. it helped to make her tired and sleep better, lol.

but that is all. here is a picture to hold you over

Havent blogged in awhile

its been awhile since i've blogged. havent felt there was much to say. but lets see, what can I talk about.
my postpartum depression is going quite well. i'm really feeling like myself beyond my medication. i'm still on my medication, but i do feel i'm ready to wean myself off of it. i no longer have to increase my dose during my period and the times that i do forget to take my dose, i'm not a train wreck.

Lily is getting so BIG! she's 6 months now. at her 6 month check up she was 17lbs 3.5 oz and 27.5 inches long. she has her two bottom teeth and one top tooth kind of sticking out (not the top front, but top and off to the side) she can scoot backwards and gets on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth. she snorts when she laughs ALL the time. she walks wobbly with assistance, but it was so cute, i picked her up from her great grandparents and she was standing up and she tried running to me. i loved it!!!

wow am i ever tired! i've been at a friends for the last three days!! Finally we're back at home though and glad to get back into our routine! Lily went to bed with no fuss at 7:30, so that was a relief, but she was pretty tired. She's got a pretty bad diaper rash, but she wasnt home the last couple days (we had a friend and then a friends mom watch her while Ryan and i had "grown up time" at our friends) so they didnt put on her cream properlly and i forgot to show one person where the cream was. I'm making sure to change her diaper lots when she's awake and air it out. She had a bath and that helped and i'm slathering on LOTS of cream.
Lily is starting to giggle lots and its super cute. One day she had the hiccups and was giggling and she had a giggle fit because everyone kept laughing at how cute and funny the laugh was with the hiccups! It was uber adorable!!!!
I dont have any new pictures of her and I dont have much news about me. I am still up and down with my depression, but both Lily and I see our doctor tomorrow so I may ask for a different kind of medication.

I'm in a super good mood today. my period has been over for three days and my hormones are regulating, so i've been my normal happy self! Lily is feeling better. She's in a playful mood and swinging in her swing. and i showered, got dressed, put my hair up and left the house all before 11:30am! I have my therapy to go to today, so I hope that that will help out some. It's group, so a bunch of other moms who have PPD. I'm skeptical of how its going to help, but it wont hurt to give it a shot. If it does work out, then i am going to look into one on one therapy to see if that will further help things.
Lily started laughing today, its really cute. and i've noticed she really likes to grab things and feel things. (She rubs Ryan's blanket when laying in bed with me)

Well, this is so weird, today was another down day, not as bad as a few nights ago, but still pretty bad... i think i need to try a different medication. I go see the doctor on May 5th for Lily's 4 month check up, so i'll ask about it then.
Lily's been sleeping a lot lately, but i think thats because she's sick. She is getting better, but she's still grumpy just before going to sleep and has a runny nose. But other then that, nothing else to say.

This was me yesterday. You can see the sadness in my whole face, but you can really see it in my eyes. I took this picture so I can look back and see how I have progressed.

And this was me the next day. Just that one day made a HUGE difference.